By for Krystalreid.
There are cracks in the walls, fissures embedded into the plaster reaching for her. The first thing she sees when she wakes is the spreading yellow stain on the ceiling. There’s a second or two of disorientation when she takes in the empty bed, lumpy mattress and the sound of rain.
Gabriel, she thinks and reaches out for him with her mind.
She finds him two blocks away. He’s constructed walls around himself, but they’re paper-thin because he doesn’t expect anyone to come looking. There’s steady pump of energy from behind his screen, and Kaitlyn knows exactly what he’s doing.
Something inside her splits.
The bed squeaks when she stands, the carpet is threadbare and rough under bare feet. She dresses quickly, unable to think of anything except how he’d promised, how he’d looked her in the eye and promised and said, “Trust me, please.” She barely remembers to pick up the keys to their room before stalking out in the direction of where she feels Gabriel’s presence.
He knows she’s awake now. He feels the waves of anger emanating from her.
Good.
Kaitlyn, he reasons, let me explain.
Don’t move a muscle until I get there.
She has vivid fantasies of punching Gabriel in the face, shouting and shaking him until something in his brain clicks and he gets a goddamned clue. Kaitlyn’s fist clenches at her side and she takes the stairs down two at a time, almost colliding with a man at the bottom.
“Hey!”
“Sorry,” she mutters and turns away, her mind on the satisfying thought of telling Gabriel how she was stupid to ever trust him, and she how wouldn’t be making that mistake again.
A hand grabs her shoulder, and Kaitlyn freezes.
“Hey, do I know you?” It takes a moment to shift her thoughts. The man looks ordinary, brown hair and brown eyes and dressed like any tourist in a dark sweater and jeans. But when she looks, his mind is a mess, a confusion of emotions. Kaitlyn catches impressions of violence and... something familiar that she can’t quite pin down.
She turns the full effect of her stare against him. “I’ve got somewhere to be,” she says coldly, feeling her pulse quicken.
Kait?
Stay there. I’ll be a second.
“What about a quick drink then?” he suggests, smiling pleasantly.
Her reply’s automatic. “I’ve got a boyfriend.” She hopes he’s another sad drunk and he’ll get the idea quickly, but he makes the hairs on her neck stand on end. There’s something crooked in his smile, and his eyes are too bright.
His hand tightens on her. “I’m sure we’ve met before. Weren’t you at that parapsychology conference in Vancouver last week?”
Kaitlyn doesn’t breathe.
“You and your friend were sitting in the second row.” His teeth shine under the fluorescent lighting. “Are you going to meet him now?”
Something makes clatters at the nearby bins, and Kaitlyn wrenches out of his grip when she feels his hand relax slightly. She moves for his face and throat, anywhere vulnerable she can hit and hurt and run. The man makes a satisfying grunt when the heel of her palm connects with his jaw, the snap of teeth and fleshy bowing of his throat. They scuffle against the brickwork, but then he circles her wrist and twists so hard that she cries out. Pain shoots up her right side when he pins the hand behind her back.
“Try that again and I can break your wrist,” he assures her, his breath hot and heavy against Kaitlyn’s ear. He pushes her in the direction of the stairs. “Now we’re going to walk back to your room,” he says, calm and conversational as a sociopath, “and we’re going to wait for your boyfriend to come back.”
Gabriel, she thinks. Gabriel!
I’m here. His mental voice is grim but she relieved that he’s close, very close. A shadow darts between parked cars and a second of build-up is the only warning she gets before the blast of energy crashes into her attacker. The man drops immediately, and she buckles a little as his dead weight drops into her.
Gabriel’s eyes are dark when they meet hers, but her pulls her away and bundles her into his arms. Kaitlyn holds on.
They follow coast south. It would be faster to take the inland route, but Kaitlyn wants something to see besides the miles of tarmac dragging into the distance. The ocean reminds her of another trip they made once and Gabriel hadn’t argued when she’d made the turn-off.
They’d dragged the man into the dark space under the staircase, rifled through his wallet and taken his cash. There’d been no ID, but he was staying the room opposite theirs. He’d been watching them, he’d followed them all the way from Vancouver. It chilled Kaitlyn to think about it.
They hadn’t found anything in his room either, a duffel bag stuffed with clothing, some car keys and a notebook written in indecipherable scrawl. They’d thrown the man’s car keys into the dumpster outside, packed and left in under an hour.
But not before Gabriel slid into hollow of the stairwell, body brimming with stolen energy when he met her at the car a few minutes later. What he’d used up, plus change.
“You broke your promise,” Kaitlyn finally says and her voice is rough because it’s been a long day. “You promised you’d tell me when you needed extra.”
“You were asleep,” Gabriel explains, and she clenches her jaw.
“You waited until I was asleep.”
He doesn’t argue with her.
It’s stopped raining now but the sky is still overcast, and the waves crash and froth on the rocks below. She wouldn’t ever call road trip to the Fellowship fun, but at least then she’d had her pick of company besides her sullen, withdrawn, moody, impossible idiot of a boyfriend. By rights this trip was meant to be easier because they didn’t have dark psychics chasing them, except apparently now someone had been following them for days.
“You can leave at any time,” Gabriel says and he means it. That hurts, but Kaitlyn doesn’t let it show.
“I’m not leaving,” she says. “We’re only two days from San Francisco.”
“And what?” he asks, voice dangerously low. “Another crackpot hippie who thinks we’re aliens in disguise?”
“She’s a doctor, Gabriel. She has a PhD.” And it’s true Vancouver had been a bust, but they’d got lucky with the conference in the end. A name and the address of an extremely exclusive clinic in San Francisco. The answer had been at their doorstep the whole time, but Dr. McKenzie was the top of her field but an extremely private person she’d said. She shouldn’t even be telling Kaitlyn any of this, much less her address.
“But you’re desperate.” The older woman had patted her hand and looked sadly at Gabriel.
“That doesn’t mean she can help.”
Kaitlyn doesn’t reply. They’ve been at this for months, tracking down leads and burning up the money they’ve saved. The cash will run out eventually, and if that happens she’s afraid Gabriel might just disappear without her in the middle of the night. She has to believe in a cure, and if not this woman then another after that. Kaitlyn will keep looking. She won’t give up Gabriel, she owes him that at least.
“That man,” Kaitlyn begins and steals a glance at the passenger seat. He’s staring stonily at the road. “He was following us. He was at the conference, he even knew where we were sitting for Christ’s sakes.” She squashes down the panic in her stomach. “We should’ve called the police.”
Gabriel doesn’t even dignify that with a reply.
“And we should let Joyce know where we are.”
“Yeah, because Joyce will know exactly what to do,” Gabriel replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m so sick of this, Kait. If you want to go back to the Institute then just say so. No one’s forcing you to be here.” Waves of bitterness he’s not even trying to hide from her. Rob’s name goes unmentioned, as always.
“I’m not leaving,” she repeats automatically, because she isn’t and because sometimes Gabriel can’t be reasoned with.
They don’t speak for the rest of the drive.
When it gets dark she pulls into a rest spot by the side of the road. They climb into the back together, and neither mention that it’d more comfortable if someone slept in the front passenger position as well. With the seats pulled down they can lie curled against each other.
In the dark Gabriel runs a thumb across her cheek and murmurs, “I love you,” which Kaitlyn thinks is his way of saying sorry after speaking in monosyllables for the rest of the day.
She says, “You too,” because loving him back doesn’t mean she forgives him or that everything is okay. It’s funny to think of Gabriel as the romantic, but Kaitlyn supposes he hasn’t much experience with long-term relationships either. Sex, Gabriel can understand. People, not so much.
The first kiss is hesitant, a brush of lips against her cheek and mouth. His hands rub trails down her back and his breath tickles her neck. It’s hard to hold her anger; too easy to give in when they’re alone with nothing but darkness and the sound of wind outside. Gabriel leans into her like he’s desperate for her touch and she’s the most important thing in the world.
Kaitlyn returns the kiss, and it’s meant to be conciliatory, but then it becomes something deeper and open-mouthed. They kiss and press their bodies together until they’re breathing hard and the windows have fogged with condensation. Gabriel smiles like she’s his secret to keep, and she feels herself smiling back, grinning.
It’s hard to remember why she’s angry
“I love you,” and this time she thinks he means it as a thank you. For what, she isn’t sure.
She says, “I love you,” as Gabriel pops open the buttons of her sweater and mouths her through the t-shirt fabric. His hands are cool against her ribs, but his breath is hot and his touches leave her ragged and gasping for air.
He unsnaps her bra with one hand and Kaitlyn asks, “Here?”
“Why not?” he teases, but his eyes are serious. Kaitlyn pulls him down in reply and the dozen reasons on the tip of her tongue are forgotten too. She wants to pin him down, devour his mouth, press into his skin until they can’t tell each other apart. She wants to go outside and love him in the wind and rain and next to sea, and she wants to see impossible Gabriel break and give in, eyes widened with pleasure, body shuddering.
And she can have it, she can have it all. He’ll give it to her.
Afterwards, Gabriel kisses her softly and brings their faces together, foreheads and noses touching. They lie with their bodies tangled awkwardly and Kaitlyn suddenly remembers why she’s here after all.
They arrive in San Francisco the next evening and the temptation to head for the Institute is so strong that she can almost taste Lewis’ Wednesday macaroni and cheese.
Instead, they check into a backpacker hostel around the corner from the clinic. When they find the house it looks like any building from the outside, except the words McKenzie Clinic are engraved on a small gold plaque at the door. No one answers the door when they ring.
Back in their room, she says, “I’ll grab us takeout,” because there’s a tiny Chinese restaurant next door and Gabriel suddenly looks exhausted. He collapses on one of the beds, and she tells herself that he drove for most of the day and he’s probably hungry. She orders beef and noodles across the counter, and strolls into the 7-Eleven across the road while she waits for their food to cook.
Kaitlyn’s browsing through the cookie section deciding whether she should buy ‘dessert’, trying to think about anything but the fact that Gabriel’s almost dead in their room. She’s trying squash the thought that there’s only one thing which will make him feel better, and it’s probably not the chocolate chip cookies she’s looking at. Kaitlyn picks up the cookie packet anyway, and collides with the person behind her by accident.
“Sorry-”
She has to stifle a scream when she looks up. It’s the man from the motel, but now he looks half-wild and he smells like rotting food up close. She wonders how he got here, how he could have followed them.
He grabs the front of her sweater. “Remember me, girl?” His breath smells stale.
He drags his face close when she doesn’t reply. “Girls like you always think you’re so special. You think you can take whatever you want. It’s not fair. Sometimes you have to give back.” Kaitlyn’s frozen as he touches her neck, fingers clumsily feeling for the top of her spine. She recognises the other sensation, finally. He’s thirsty for her, he’s parched for energy.
Something inside Kaitlyn fractures and breaks.
How long? she wants to ask.
He mutters, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon...”
“Hey, buddy! Get away from her!” There’s a familiar tug at her neck but it’s gone when a man grabs his arm and pulls him away from her. He scrabbles at her and her clothing, fingers bruising as he tries to keep the connection open. A shop assistant runs to join the first man and they begin dragging him away from her. Someone shouts to call the police.
“Bitch!” he spits. “That belongs to me.” And then he’s out the door and hauled out of sight.
Kaitlyn slowly picks up the cookies she dropped.
“Are you alright?” asks another shop assistant at the counter. “The homeless folk around here are pretty harmless, but that guy must’ve been on drugs.”
“I’m fine,” she says, and pays for her purchase.
Gabriel’s asleep when she returns to the room. Kaitlyn sets the food down on the bedside table, slips out of her outer clothing and crawls into the tiny single bed behind him. He doesn’t stir, so she burrows into his back and slings an arm over his stomach.
“We’ll find it tomorrow,” she whispers in his ear.
The first thing Kaitlyn notices is a crack beginning to form in the corner of the ceiling. For a second she isn’t sure what woke her, but then she remembers the click of the door, and realises Gabriel is missing. She’s too foggy with sleep to see the other signs, but she hears footsteps on the stairs. Kaitlyn doesn’t bother with a dressing gown, just irritatedly drags herself out of bed and pads down the stairs after him.
“Gabriel?”
She catches him near the front door, his figure silhouetted in light from the windows.
“Kaitlyn,” he breathes.
“What are you doing?” she yawns. “It’s 2am. Kitchen’s the other way.”
He doesn’t respond, and Kaitlyn’s brain begins working slowly. She notices the obvious things first, like how Gabriel’s carrying a large backpack over his shoulder and he’s fully dressed like he’s about to go out. He’s also shaking.
“Gabriel,” she says softly and reaches for him. He flinches away, but she takes his hand anyway and...
Oh.
Kaitlyn’s surprised he’s standing at all. He’s been running on reserves for two nights, because he thinks he’s taken too much from her already. He thinks she might begin to suspect and it’s too dangerous. Too dangerous to even be close to her because he could kill her, he could lose control and it was so easy. But underneath all that there’s a mindless void that needs to be filled, and he needs her like a man dying of thirst.
“I’m not going back,” Gabriel says after forever has passed between them. “Not even for you, Kaitlyn.”
She closes her eyes and breathes. Another millenia passes when she opens them, but Kaitlyn’s made a decision. “Okay,” she says and her voice sounds so confident, so sure that she almost doesn’t recognise it. “But I’m coming with you. We’ll find a cure together,” she promises.
Her right hand itches with the urge to draw, a picture that will set their future in stone. Every time she draws there’s a single perfect moment wedged between the last stroke and the second she opens her eyes. At that moment what’s done is done, and the future splinters into endless possibilities, all of them at her fingertips. She could open her eyes and see anything.
Kaitlyn stills her hand and twines it with Gabriel’s so all she can feel is his warm skin under her palm. She squeezes his hand reassuringly.
When Gabriel smiles at her it’s hopeful.
Kaitlyn barely feels the itch.
Fin.
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