For Vedesca.
In the blackness, there was a beep. A low, steady beeping that was more like a throb, just below the real range of human hearing. She didn't know how long she'd been in that darkness, listening to the beep. She didn't know what it was, or what it meant. But it was comfortable in the dark. Soft and just kind of blank.
And then, from seemingly nowhere, there was a point of light. Curious, feeling a strange pull, she began heading towards it. Every sense of time and space became centered on that one spot of light. There was the faintest twinge of fear, as if there was some reason she should be wary of such a light, but it was so small in all the wonder.
The light suddenly flared and surrounded her, and she felt warmth suffuse her. Eyes dipped closed, then opened, and the light coalesced into a.fire. Flames licked inside a fireplace, casting an orange glow over what seemed like a cave. A nest of white fur that had yellow around the edges, cold walls of stone that had mold on its surfaces. There was a faint smell of general aging in the air.
It looked familiar, in an abstract, surreal kind of way. A place she knew but never expected to return to. It just needed.
A movement in the shadows and one of them seemed to solidify, stepping to the side of the fireplace. Light was captured in electric blue eyes and they glowed as they caught her gaze. "Jenny."
Fingers convulsed into fists and a gasp stuck in her throat. It had been so long since she'd heard that voice, that actual voice, saying her name. Water over river rocks. The feel of nails digging into her palms dragged her attention and her eyes downward. Wonder lit her face as she held her hands out, looking at the smooth, unblemished skin. That.wasn't right either. Something about this whole scenario was just slightly wrong, a little off.
"Jenny." Even as she looked up again, a single cool finger touched her wrist. He'd moved closer in the space of a heartbeat, his eyes on fire as they lingered on her face. A soft fingertip traced a path across her skin and she felt goosebumps sweep down her legs at the caress.
"Julian," she said slowly. Even her voice was just distinctly off. The edges of her vision kept blurring too, going in and out of focus. The light from the fire would dim, almost fading, then sputter back to determined life. "What's going on?"
His finger had continued its course, tracing the delicate veins under the pale skin of her forearm. It had caused him to step closer, and she felt the warmth from his body as his touch lingered at the inside crook of her elbow. "Is this a dream?" she felt compelled to clarify, even as another wave of goosebumps prickled her skin.
That soft, sensual mouth curved at the corners. "No," he murmured, the word punctuated by that throbbing beep that had been with her in the darkness. "It isn't a dream. Though you did create many beautiful ones for me."
Yes, she had dreamt of him. Often. Things she'd never told Tom and he'd never asked, as she'd vowed to herself so long ago. But then again, with Julian right in front of her, touching her skin and whispering in that voice that memory could never do justice, was it really so long ago?
He took another step closer and their bodies brushed. She felt something spark in her head and blinked slowly. The room felt sharper, clearer, when her eyes reopened, and she studied Julian's face. It was different too. Like the aging of the white fur and the mold on the stones. The edges that had made his face so sharply beautiful during the Games were softened. His lashes drooped, heavy as ever, but they veiled eyes that were soft in the firelight. Even the mildly capricious curve of his mouth was different.
To her eye, it almost seemed the other-worldliness was gone from him. He seemed.human.
"What's going on?" she asked again, and there was a tremor of fear in her voice. She'd known, even during the Games, that a Julian like this was dangerous. Dangerous to her, to Tom, to her whole world. And when things were feeling so strange, she didn't know if she'd be able to control her reactions to him. For a moment, she had a strange sensation that this really was part of the Game, and she was back there, stuck in the paper house, or the Shadow Park, or.
Another throbbing beep proceeded Julian's voice, "I'm dreaming, Jenny." His finger had rounded up her arm and she felt him place it at the hollow in her throat, felt her pulse flutter against it.
Wetting her lips, trying to still the shaking of her voice, she pointed out, "/You're/ dreaming? Did you pull me out of my world for a dream?"
His finger hesitated at her throat and, for a brief moment, something sad touched the corners of his eyes. "It's complicated." And /that/ was so like the Julian she'd known, sadness aside, that a brief spurt of anger moved through her. It wouldn't do to just out and out tell her what was going on, of course not. Had to be circuitous and say everything but the obvious.
Eyes flicked past him as lips compressed into a thin line. The fire caught her eye and she stopped, staring. Lids opened wide as colors flicked off the top of the flames, sending brief splashes of images into the air above them. Little snapshots of her life. Graduating from high school, then college. The first preschool she worked at, leading to her move in with Tom. Their wedding day, with his eyes glowing like gems down the aisle. Mary's birth, followed all too soon by her daughter's graduation from high school.
It kept going, showing the full life she'd always planned to live. And that began to explain why this whole thing seemed wrong. She was far past middle age, and yet her skin was as smooth as when she was a teenager, not crippled with arthritis or discolored with age spots. Which meant this obviously had to be a dream. But at the same time, it felt more /real/ than a dream ever had. Was that because, as Julian claimed, it was his dream?
"Julian, I don't understand," she said, eyes moving back to his.
He was smiling again, and his finger lightly touched her bottom lip. "You dreamt a lot of nice things for me, Jenny. It made a difference."
There was a look in his eyes as he said that, making her focus fully on his face again. His finger left her throat, following the upward sweep of her cheekbone. Vulnerability touched his eyes as they met hers. "I lived in the light. I interacted with regular people. I saw things the way you do. And I always remembered you, Jenny. You were always with me."
She took a breath, unable to look away from his gaze. He smiled again, touching the corner of her eye. "You thought of me too."
Denial wasn't possible. Obviously she'd thought of him, if she'd dreamt of him. He'd never left her, as she'd suspected would happen. Though her life had been happy, she'd never doubted it had been a mite poorer without him in it.
Another thudding beep shimmered in the cave and her vision blurred from the outside in. Julian's arms had come around her, pulling her close against him. She felt oddly weak but still clear. The beeping was coming faster now. Lids drooped in another slow blink.
"I was able to dream," he continued when her eyes were on him again. "I dreamt of you. And if." His arms cradled her tighter. "And when. You were always mine, Jenny. From the first moment I saw you. It was just the timing that had to be right."
Right then, in that time and place, she felt the truth in those words. It was one of those things she felt in her bones. She'd loved Tom, deeply and truly and for a long time, but she'd always belonged to Julian. And now, she knew as well, the timing was finally right. It suddenly didn't seem to matter exactly what was going on, if this was his dream or hers, because she had an overwhelming sensation that she was finally going home.
"So what now?" she whispered, her head tilting back, her eyes hazy as she looked at him. She felt weaker. Not bad, exactly, just.slow, and kind of tired. The beeping had started to slow again.
Julian's thumb caressed up her jaw, holding her face gently. The vulnerability in his eyes had changed, becoming something soft and longing. "Now we'll dream together," he whispered back, and bent his head. His mouth touched hers, and the fire dimmed down, down, down. And went out.
In the darkness, there was one more beep, and then a steady droning sound. Then an even deeper silence.
And somewhere else, another dream started.
Back to the main page.
Disclaimer: the characters, fictional settings, and universes created by L. J. Smith are copyright © Lisa J. Smith, Daniel Weiss Associates, Inc. and their affiliates. This fan-created site, along with the stories it houses, means no infringement upon any trademark, copyright, or other legal binding. This archive claims no rights to any of the stories collected here.